My Croatian friend, V. once said that among the ex-Yugoslavia, the Bosnians are most famous for their humors. I cannot comment on that since I have little command of the Bosnian language.

“If I wasn’t Muslim” is a sarcastic song about being Bosnian Muslims in Europe, surrounded by Christian European neighbors (*). Again, I cannot comment on the validity of the song’ message because I only have a vague understanding of European politics and the century-old clash between two of the world’s religious Titans: Christianity and Islam.

(*) I’m not too sure about branding Europe with the Christian-continent label. It is true that in Europe Christianity blossomed and provided the framework for its prior civilizations. It’s also true we can find more Christian traces in Europe than anywhere else. However, Europe has gotten less and less religious or Christian, whichever way you want to call it. Even the moral-lacking, selfish-individualistic, exploiting-capitalistic western counterpart, the Americans, are more religious or Christian. If not, why do Europe laugh their heads off and criticize many of American conservative, religious-based thinking, habits, laws, policies, etc. To many moderate and conservative Americans, Europe is a “godless” continent.


I asked a fairly independent-thinking, open-minded, non-nationalist friend of mine whether she thought the European Muslims were misunderstood and mistreated by Christian Europeans. After a brief moment hesitation, she nodded her head: YES.

She is Bosnian Croat, by the way, and thus free from subjective judgment.

The problem does not stay exclusively in Europe. I tried so hard to show my friends why their prior conception of Muslims might have been misguided. After all, what else do they really know about Muslims beside watching and reading all those horrible clips about radical Muslims/Islamic extremist from the Middle East. Still, Muslims have a really connotation among myAsian community, even among very liberal, educated and open-minded people. Some closed-minded individual even said flat out they wouldstay away from the Muslims if they can.

How about Americans? Read this article “Poll shows U.S. views on Muslim-Americans” and tell me what you think.

IF I WASN’T MUSLIM

If I wasn’t Muslim
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I wasn’t born Mohammedan
Life for me would have been fun.

I could live and prosper
On my land and I could even build a bigger house
I wouldn’t have to, every now and then,
Run and hide like a mouse.

If I wasn’t Muslim
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
My neighbors wouldn’t set my home on fire
And surround me with barbed wire

I wouldn’t live in terror
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
Books wouldn’t teach you that I was an error
In European history.

Ref:

I would not have to prove that I am not stupid
A backward and primitive villain
An alien threat to your way of life
to be hunted down.

I wouldn’t be so ashamed of
The names of my relatives and mine
Of the Semitic language I speak to my God
That no one here understands

My tradition wouldn’t insult
My Christian neighbors and friends
My diet, my cap, the Ramadan fast
the crescent and the star.

Bayram, I know, will never be famous
like Christmas or Easter Sunday
so modern and cool, so western,
and – oh so “secular”.

If I wasn’t Muslim
If I had an ordinary Slavic Christian name
If I wasn’t circumcised
If I could eat my eggs with ham

I would be accepted
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
I’d blend in to Europe and enjoy
I wouldn’t be its whipping boy.

— oh boy —

If I were a Christian
I wouldn’t have to prove that I am human too.
‘Cause when you’re Christian you’re always civilized
no matter what you wear or do.

But when you are a Muslim
It is really hard to find some sympathy for you
No one really likes you, no one really cares
No one wants to know your point of view.

If I wasn’t Muslim
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I was a part of Christendom
Europe would be my sweet home.

I wouldn’t have to worry
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
What will happen in a year or two
Will I have to leave or stay and die
Drop my pants to be identified and put aside
Just ’cause I’m a Mussulman? …

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